So what do you do when you realize you fell into the trap of thinking you knew everything? If you are me, you cry a little, do a Bible study on the word "humble" & all its derivatives, & try not to fall into the second trap. Which I did.
My little man is a little over 8 months old now. The monthly Instagram highlight photo will tell you all about his new skills & the adorable traits that make us love him. If you know my child, you know he smiles easily, he's super nosy, & he is his best person when others are near. He is beginning to prefer Mommy & Daddy, a healthy part of emotional development. But as "easy" (I never truly got that phrase?) as he is during the day, he is harder at night. His little mind has trouble switching from On to Off. Aerosmith plays our theme song in the background each night: I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I'll miss you, baby, & I don't wanna miss a thing... & just like Aerosmith, a dream will never do. He wants the real thing. Mommy & Daddy beside him all night. No ability to self-soothe. No sleep cue is enough. No training method will change the fact that this little guy hates the crib & needs help falling to sleep.
For the first three & a half years of our marriage we lived in Atlanta. I understand that there are a few people in the world who actually enjoy living in Atlanta, but honestly we weren't those people. We were there for a purpose - grad school - & many great things came out of it - growing as a couple in a strange, new city, forming lifelong friendships, etc. But we also knew when it was time to leave. Be prepared, I'm about to spiritualize the topic of podcasts...
The tagline of my blog is "the beautiful dichotomy of a classic-minded millennial mom." This was the easiest way I could describe my life to you in one sentence. The Beautiful Dichotomy is what I call the internal struggle (the Mom Guilt?) of balancing home life & work. None of us just do one thing - even if you are a stay-at-home-mom or a full-time-working-mom with a nanny. We all live in our own dichotomy. Sometimes we forget to call it beautiful, but if we work where we are called & we love where we are placed, then it is just that - Beautiful.
Did you mommas find that the first few weeks of your pregnancy felt oddly surreal? As pumped as I was to be pregnant, I had a hard time grasping the reality of it until that first ultrasound & it got super real when I started showing! When we found out that not only was their a little soul inside of me, but that he was a little boy, I felt like we had been literally introduced. We named him & saw that his profile kind of looked like ours. I couldn't wait to get to know him. I found myself doing these things & once he was born I realized that we had already bonded. That baby is getting to know your voice, your smell, your way of walking. Baby bonding is a real thing & hopefully these things can help your pregnancy be even sweeter!
Who better to teach us about the Creator of the universe than a newborn baby? There is no one better because there is no one more pure, completely untouched by the cares or dirt of the world. I think a child is the closest thing to an angel that we will behold until we stand with Jesus in heaven.
I was reminded of the time I flew above a storm. After an eight hour layover, my friends & I finally began the last short leg of the flight home from a mission trip in Central America. We climbed steeply up through the electrical storm until finally we were riding above the black clouds, looking down on what looked like the largest mountains I had ever seen, first invisible, then illuminated by fierce lightning. It seemed like we were only feet above these mountain peaks, but we were safe. I was looking down on the origin of the storm instead of looking up at it for the first & probably only time in my life. I was mesmerized by the thought that I was being given a glimpse of God's perspective on us. He was both in the storm with us & above the storm.
Delivering a child. Running a marathon. Walking away from the wrong person. Sacrificing your selfishness for the right person. Selling that first vehicle for one with better gas mileage. What do these all have in common? They're painful things, but in the end we are better for it. (That last one might just be me? I'm having flashbacks to 18 year old Caitlin crying at the dealership as we traded my Chevy truck for the Pontiac...)
I write this post more from the perspective of a daughter than a momma. I write this post in honor of the end of my maternity leave. I'm only going back two days a week, but it's still a big deal for me! My work situation is unique - I actually work for my mom!... Continue Reading →
I delivered my son after 31 trying hours, completely differently than the way I had prayed about so diligently. I felt let down by God, my Father, the Promise Keeper, the One Who had always answered my prayers for even the smallest things. Why had He chosen not to honor my request for a natural labor & delivery?